Managing My Life~Part 3

Now that my mess of a room is back in order I feel I can go on with my thoughts on managing the home in good conscience.

One of the greatest things you will ever do for your family is to train your children to help in the home. My children are an asset to my home! They are my helpers and so much JOY comes out of that! There was a time, not so long ago, when all of my children were VERY small. Remember, I have only had an ‘older child’ for two years. I went from 3 to 6 children in 13 months! My 5 birth children came in 6 years. Our 7th is on the way now and so that will be 6 births in 8 years (not counting my 3 miscarriages). I don’t mention this for any sort of credit, but I do hope to encourage those mothers who have VERY young children and let you know I DO know what it is like to try to keep things going with SO many little ones.

It has only been in the last year that I have enjoyed the luxury of having a much older child to help out in BIG ways. That being said, even my little ones are a big help in our home. My 4 year old can clean up a whole room on his own. My 1 and 2 year old pick up their own toys. My 6 and 7 year old keep their own bathrooms cleaned up (I do the toilets). Little ones CAN help out and lift some of Mama’s load too! And if Mama trains them to do so with a cheerful, loving attitude, then the children will learn to do these things with a cheerful and loving attitude. (One point I am always working on in my OWN life!)

For those of you who DO have older children…..are you taking the time to teach them to cook, to bake, to deep clean, to…..do some of the things that pressure you? In my home we have to have a hot meal on the table by noon. We are a farm family and my hard working husband needs that hot meal. I have little by little taught my oldest daughter (12) to be able to make meals on her own. I can now tell her to go to the kitchen and prepare spaghetti, tacos, chili, mac n cheese, meatballs and meatloaf. Any other meals that we eat she is working at learning. She also make muffins, biscuits, eggs, pancakes and waffles for a breakfast. We are now all enjoying the fact that she can make bread, cinnamon rolls and cookies on her own. J

I do believe a child can learn all these things way before this age. My daughter has only been with us 2 years and didn’t speak English when she arrived, but was showing great interest in helping in the kitchen already when she came to us. She is not only good at helping out in these ways but she finds great joy in doing them! She has recently started teaching her 6 year old sister to make her own cookies.

All that to say one of the HUGE reasons my home runs well (most of the time) is because our children are being raised to be a part of this family. Remember….this will NOT work if you are not also taking time to PLAY with them, to laugh with them and to love on them.

This afternoon I have been thinking back to a time when things were much different in our home. When the house was always chaos and my heart was very unhappy. It isn’t too difficult for me to look back on this time and pin point some things I was doing wrong.

I said I would touch on “being content”. I could touch on many areas where we, as moms, need to be content, but the one that sticks in my mind most is being content AT HOME. Nancy Campbell of Above Rubies says, “You are not a taxi service, train your children to be content at home.” I 100% agree with this statement! First, though, we must be content at home ourselves!

There was a time when I was unhappy, unsettled and bored with my life. I was ALWAYS going somewhere. I was involved in other activities…justifying what I was doing….”It is a ministry for the Lord.”, “It is for my children.”. When, in actuality I was NOT doing what the Lord wanted ME to be doing and I was NOT putting the best interest of my children first. Beside all of this my husband was VERY unhappy. There was NO peace in our home at all in this time of our lives!

To change this was NOT easy at all for me. I was accustomed to running. When I finally began forcing myself (and yes, at first I really was FORCING myself) to stay home I felt miserable because I had to face myself, before my Heavenly Father. I started watching TV to fill in those times when God was holding up a mirror to get me to examine my life. When I wasn’t watching TV (which I always did when the children napped) I was spending an EXHORBENT amount of time on the computer. I couldn’t just be still and let God change me. Change hurts and I didn’t want any part of it!

It wasn’t until one morning I actually opened up my eyes and not only SAW my oldest son’s eyes but HEARD what they were saying to me! I began to feel so much grief over my wasted time running and then my wasted time right at home (running once again). From that day forward it took WORK to be freed from such bondage, but God is FAITHFUL and He walked me through that.

SO….a great part of my ‘success’ and joy here at home is the fact that I am TRULY content being home. I love caring for my home, my children and my husband. I took those times I was giving to television and my computer and began giving that time to the Lord. It may sound strange to some, but it was so painful for me. Standing before the Lord and facing myself, my past….it was a deep thorn in my heart. I am so thankful to the Lord! He freed me! My heart is finally home!

I going to end there with my own thoughts and leave you with a list of stress savers for Mothers from Above Rubies. Many blessings to all!

PRACTICAL STRESS SAVERS FOR MOTHERS!

Write things to do on a list, and plan your day.
Make a game of household chores and do them with your children.
Make your schedule your servant, not your master.
Do a load of washing in the evening so it can be hung out early in the morning.
Play a game or have a competition while doing the chores with your children.
Enlist the children to fold the washing and to put it away.
Teach your children: "Don’t put it down, put it away."
Teach your older children to wash and dress the younger ones.
Have peaceful Christian Music playing softly in your home.
Take time out to do your exercises. Do them with your children.
It’s okay to make a mistake. It’s okay for others to make a mistake.
Go on a journey with your children through an old photograph album.
Take time to read to your children.
Wear clothing that is comfortable and easy to maintain.
Talk less, listen more.
Eliminate or restrict the amount of caffeine in your diet.
Take a nice warm shower or bath.
Sit down and sing some songs with your children.
Take the children (and the dog) for a walk.
Be practical when buying household furniture etc. Expensive items spell stress.
Do a kind deed for someone else. Include your children as this trains them to do kind deeds too.
Put a special stick-on pen by the phone with a pad for messages.
Leave the kitchen clean and tidy every night.
Train your children to politely answer the phone and door.
Be prepared to change your plans.
Don’t ignore problems, but tackle them head on.
Do your shopping on off-hours during off-days to avoid crowds.
Limit the amount of women’s meetings, coffee mornings, and playgroup sessions that you go to.
Be the manager of your home. Your name is Mother, not slave.
Allow 15 extra minutes to get ready when you are going out.
Listen to constructive criticism. Be willing to learn new things.
Spend time in the garden with your children.
Guard the sanctity of your home. Don’t allow others to selfishly invade your life.
If you don’t have time for an early morning Quiet Time, write out one or two verses and pin them up on your fridge or near your kitchen work area – and meditate upon them during the day.
Take the phone off the hook if you want a rest.
Cook two meals at a time, eat one and freeze the other.
Make children responsible for making their beds and keeping their own bedrooms tidy.
Don’t try to do too much – you are not a super-mum!
Remember that the Bible says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Hum, sing or whistle while doing your work. It creates a happy atmosphere.
Eat a healthy diet.
Don’t compare your family with others. Your family is unique. You don’t have to live up to other people’s expectations.
Be a ‘keeper at home’ and try not to go out too much.
During rest time, pin a note to the door say, "Mother and children resting. Please do not disturb."
Learn to say "No" to others. Family comes first.
You are not a taxi service. Train your children to be contented at home.
Dress neatly and attractively. Staying at home shouldn’t mean a slovenly appearance.
Teach your children to clean up after themselves.
Don’t try to pack more into your days than you have time to for.
Have a some quiet moments alone with your husband each night.